Calamity Jane and the River Part Three-The Writing on the Hull

For any landlubbers reading this-and God bless anyone who is reading this-there's a mini-glossary at the bottom of the page. 

Mark Twain said, "The proverb says that the Providence protects children and idiots. This is really true. I know because I have tested it." 

I can relate. 

Even before I capsized, I'm pretty sure Marcus was still standing on the pier shaking his head and wondering what kind of idiot I was. 

I submit that there are two types of idiots: The first is completely and utterly clueless and when it all goes wrong they can plead ignorance because they don't know any better. 

Unlike the first kind; the second type is culpable. They know when an idea is bad. They can't (won't) stop themselves. 

If you, like Marcus, are wondering what kind of idiot I am, I'll end the suspense. That day on the river proved that I am the second type. The wind rose up and dared me and my re-attached rudder, yet I was determined to sail. Even when I saw the writing on the hull.

I sailed upwind and downriver at Marcus' suggestion. He said it would be easier for me to get back to the beach if I got into trouble. I guess he didn't need a crystal ball to see that as distinct possibility. 

That possibility was realized when I tacked about 30 feet northwest of the pier. Or was it a jibe? The embarrassing truth is that I can't be sure.  What I know is that the boom swung around and the boat heeled to the point of no return and I before I could say mayday, I was in the water. 

In my own defense, the first thing they taught us in sailing class was how to capsize a Sunfish and at the risk of bragging, I was pretty great at it. Still am. It's like crashing a bike.

Drowning is against the rules at the sailing club, so life jackets are mandatory. And maybe because you know that you can't drown, capsizing a Sunfish is not the least bit frightening.  Truly. When it happens, it's more like an "Oh sh*t!" moment. 

The best sailing instructors probably include capsizing in the first lesson because it forces you to learn how to right the boat before it sinks. And when it happens accidentally-which it surely will- everything you learned will come back to you when you need it. In theory.

Once I found myself in the water, I swam around to the bottom of the boat (which was now out of the water) and grabbed the dagger-board. I pulled it out toward me as far as it would go and with all my strength, I pushed down on it.  

Here is what is supposed to happen next: The mast and sail come up out of the water, the boat rolls toward you and while try to avoid getting smacked in the head with the hull, you grab onto the side of the boat and pull yourself back into the cockpit. It takes some muscle, but it's not rocket science.

Here's what happened when I pushed down on the dagger-board: Exactly nothing. And after a few desperate minutes of pushing and pulling, I did something stupid. I know: Quelle surprise.

I thought the lines may have caught on something, so I swam around to the sail to untangle them. Bad idea. The moment I let go of the dagger-board, the sail, the lines and the mast went deeper into the water and the boat began to sink.

 "Oh sh*t!" 

GLOSSARY Boom: Horizontal pole at the bottom of the sail Bow: The forward part of the boat Capsize: When a boat lists too far and rolls over. Centerboard: A board or plate lowered through the hull to prevent the boat from blowing sideways across the water. Cockpit: The seating area. Dagger-board: A type of light centerboard that is lifted vertically. Hull: The body of the boat. Heeling: The lean caused by the wind's force on the sail. Jibing: Turning the stern of the boat through the eye of the wind. The boom can swing across the boat with extreme force. The sailor ducks and switches from starboard to port or vice-versa. List: A boat's angle of lean or tilt to one side. Mast: vertical spar to which the sails and rigging are attached. Port: The left side of the boat (if you are facing the bow). Righting: The act of reversing a capsized boat. Rudder: Vertical metal or wooden plate attached to the stern, whose movements steer the boat. Starboard: Right side of the boat (if you are facing the bow). Stern: The aft or rear part of a boat. Tacking: (or coming about): Turning the bow into the wind, in order to change directions. Typically, the boom moves slowly across the boat as it changes. directions. The sailor ducks and switches from starboard to port or vice-versa Tiller: Short piece of wood that controls the rudder.